All I have in this world is my balls and my word! Ok scratch the “balls” I don’t have those! But who would want em anyway. They’re wrinkled, sweaty, and don’t serve much purpose ESPECIALLY if they hang lower than Mr. Winky. Wait, what was I taking about again? My word! Oh yes, my word! I was examining the history of my word when I realized: I AM A TOTAL FLAKE and SUPREME PROCRASTINATOR!!! I’m sure the people close to me already figured this out, but after 30 years being me it just hit me today. And I’m talking like a swift Ike Turner punch to the face. I do believe there is nothing worse than a coked out punch from Ike!
Now before you turn your nose up (like your ass is perfect) let me explain. I often make plans and I really do intend on attending but I get tired easily. So I don’t show up, but I do call and let them know I’m not coming. Usually a string of curse words are thrown my way (living with my father has prepared me for being called morons and ignorant m’fers). As far as the procrastination goes, I want to do a lot but I don’t have the time. I been writing a book for about 6 years now. Granted my attention span is shorter than Webster in ballet flats, but I really want to finish it. Just have to figure out how to be re-interested.
I wanna say I am going to move these to the top of my list to work on, but I’m sure I will procrastinate in doing that also. Is there some kind of rehab that I can check myself into! I can’t die from flakiness and bull-shittingness (let’s pretend this is a word). I’m real sad about today’s self discovery. BUT HEARETH ME YE: on this day I declareth to NOT flaketh thou friends and Procrastinateth against thou self!!! Wish me luck, Lord knows I have a feeling I am going to flake out on this…….