I struggled internally for like two weeks or so on whether I should write this post or not. The last thing I wanted to do was put our black men in another categorization post. I also knew that my thoughts may be a tad bit bias since I have become a die-hard feminist (but not the I don’t want a man kind) and I haven’t dated for almost 14 years. Lately I had been hearing so many women complain about love and their “man”. So I sought out help from my friends to enlighten me on the various different type of men out there.
From this experiment I have learned that all relationships have problems. Some just are more severe than others. I look at older couples and I am truly amazed at the longevity they have experienced with one another. In a time where chivalry is almost nonexistent the million dollar question that yells at me is: WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO OUR BLACK MEN? Now don’t get me wrong I know some of you are, or may have some great ones. But the reality is they are few and far between. So if you are single I pray that our little findings will help you to steer clear of these type of men. Let’s analyze this species more closely in hopes of finding a cure and deweaponize(I really need my own little Cryssictionary) our men without destroying them.
THE MOMMA’S BOY: he’s a perfect gentleman and really sensitive to a woman’s needs. However he is still on the “tit”. I get it! I really do. Your mom was great. She washed your draws, cleaned your room, and was always there to give you advice. It’s what every mom should do. However, being co-dependent on her after the age of 21 just won’t do. I’m not saying just forget her all together(I encourage a healthy relationship with your mom). But she should not have a say in your house where your woman lives. Nor should a man constantly compare the two. Its hard enough competing with other women who also wouldn’t mind your attention. Having to fight for it with the woman who has been your everything since birth is a no win battle. I know that we all have this preconceived notion of the 50’s housewife, but we are working just as hard and much now. We do not have time to take care of you like a child. In most cases like this the woman walks away feeling defeated and sometimes with a sense of failure. She has become Treasurer of the “niggas aint shit committee”
THE DENZEL TYPE: he pursues you, courts you, woos and sway you. Attentive to your needs. Loves his mother but she doesn’t run his life. Appreciates old school music but has a flair for hip-hop. He loves a healthy debate about world affairs and can argue why the world is in a horrible state. The love-making is UNBELIEVABLE because he is so in tune with your wants. A grown ass man in every sense of the words. He seems too good to be true as he breaks down whatever wall you had built up. You find yourself letting him completely in and tell him everything. But he is harboring a secret: he is already involved, perhaps even married. He is not a “serial cheater”. In fact, he has never cheated before, but he has become smitten with you. However, unable to leave the wife or girlfriend he also adores. This often leaves the woman in a position she once despised: THE OTHER WOMAN. She vowed she would never be here and now that she is, she realize its hard to walk away. This compromises her integrity which could lead her on a downward spiral of bitterness. Trust is out the door and disbelief is her new best friend. She has become VP of the “niggas aint shit committee“.
MR. DON JUAN CASSANOVA: He’s super easy to look at on the eyes. Dresses impeccably and anything thing that consists of the “finer things” in life is right up his alley. His game has been perfected for years and he could talk you clean up out of your tithes and offering money. You bragging to all your friends about how this man loves you so and secretly he has tried to bag them all. On the low he hates women either because one that he really loved dogged him out, or he has watched his mother with different “uncles”. Whatever the case may be he treats women like they are not equal to him or possibly a possession. His main focus in life is to win the hearts and destroy as many women as possible. Lying, cheating, and eventually degrading is what he will bring to your life. This sir is a serial cheater and a very sloppy one at that (he will get caught continuously because he really doesn’t care that you know). No matter how much you threaten to leave he will take them as a joke and will not stop his whoremonger ways. The dangers in dating this guy is so great that you will wake up a completely different person. insecurities run deep while in a relationship like this. Why wasn’t I enough? What do I need to do? Who is he loving tonight? The who’s, what’s, and why’s that you roll around in your head will never give you a satisfactory answer. Look for this sister to be Secretary of the “niggas ain’t shit committee”
In fear of making this post super long I will end here (don’t want you guys yawning on me). I will have to break this topic down. Men wear my brain out. Part TWO coming up shortly……