author of Karma On Ice

Wow how strange that I would have two friends reach out to me about a certain subject, but on completely different sides of the coin.  I felt the only natural thing for me to do is talk (blog/talk all the same thing) about this issue at hand.  I will give you both sides before I dish my Cryssology out.  And here we go…….


 Friend A has met the perfect guy.  They are so in tune with one another.  They have similar taste in pretty much everything that she could think of.  She is very much sexually attracted to him, but they never took it there.  Why would two grown ups who are eagerly wanting each other NOT step into the land of physical tango?  HE IS MARRIED!  She knew this from almost the beginning, he told her a couple of weeks after they had begun talking and texting to one another.  Now this put her in a situation she never really thought she would be in (look down at the Weapons of Mass Destruction post for the Denzel Type).  The other woman is someone she did not want and will not be.  (I know you thinking like, well simple enough she should just walk away) WRONG! She hasn’t done away with him because she has never had a mental connection with anyone like this before.  The sista is addicted, and with any addiction there are always dangerous withdrawals.  You may find yourself dipping back into your habit just to get through the day.

 It’s time for some mind sex, we aint got to take our clothes off yet.

We can burn the incense, and just chat

Relax, I got the good vibrations

Before we make love, let’s have a good conversation

 Friend B has been with her boyfriend for several years.  They are really the ideal couple to all around them. She has never heard of him cheating or dogging her out. They have a strong bond and really have each other’s back. Their relationship isn’t perfect, but it is healthy and a really good one. (Insert guy from the past who realizes he let the perfect one go).  It started as a laugh at a distant memory, but lately they have begun talking more and more, and why not? The familiarity that they feel for one another is amazing.  Old memories make her smile from the inside out.  None of the conversations are sexual, just a man and a woman talking on grown folks status.  Conversing with him seems oddly better than speaking with her boyfriend at times.  He gets her, and she doesn’t have to make a big fuss about her point either.  She knows that her boyfriend would probably be crushed if he found out, but yet she can’t stop herself from smiling when his texts comes through.  Nor can she stop her mind from traveling down the highway of WHAT IFS?

 Pardon me love, but you seem like my type

What you doing tonight? You should stop by the site

We could roll some weed, play some records and talk

I got a fly spot downtown, Brooklyn, New York

 MENTAL STIMULATION- is the act of receiving satisfying pleasure to the brain

MENTAL ORGASM- achieving the highest level of mental stimulation   

MENTAL AFFAIR- the combination of mental stimulation and orgasm with someone other than your partner, or with someone who is already involved.

 My advice was to RUN! Why? Because Tyler Perry said it best, “women are emotional creatures”.  This is so true; many people have the misconception that women can’t handle having no strings attached sex.  WRONG! Women can’t handle emotional connection and moving on.  It is too hard for us because everything about a woman is precisely methodical.  We normally don’t like to act before thinking things through, especially when the other species is involved.  If the wrong man has the ability to make love to your mind and not touch your body, you are in a very dangerous situation.  In order for a woman to even indulge in such activities she has to be lacking somethingMaybe as her man, you are not fulfilling her  sense of womanish desires. Most of the time it boils down to being lonely somehow. (insert randon or not so random guy to save the day) Men are just like  hound dogs when it comes to sensing vulnerability.  You may think that you are handling the situation, but he knows that with every text or conversation that he is slow grinding your frontal lobe.    As good as it may feels, it is wrong.  But sometimes WRONG has to come first in order to make it RIGHT! Just my thoughts…..


Comments on: "The Art of Mental Stimulation" (2)

  1. Well, once again you have managed to break it down like only YOU can (a great compliment). I really don’t know what can be added to your post, except maybe the fact that how a man gets a woman is usually how he loses her. Of course this was revealed to me by a woman who had a lock on the game, just as yourself.

    In the end, it’s really all a game to be played. Love don’t love nobody. Best off just loving yourself enough to stay ahead of the game.

    Yes, I am all in my feelings today.


  2. I agree with you in that they both need to run. I think both situations have now evolved into the red zone because either they didn’t respect or set boundaries… when you are in a relationship, I feel there is no need to put yourself in a position where there is temptation- no old exes, no reminiscing, no going out to lunch with hot male co-workers… we’ve just got to be smart and proactive and stop putting ourselves in these positions….

    As far as friend A, she should’ve stopped once she found out he was married… but instead, they’ve gone too far….. he’s playing with both his wife’s mind and hers… She needs to be strong enough to walk away. Sure he seems great, but the devil wouldn’t tempt you with something that you DOESN’T seem perfect, right????!!!

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